Things My Mother Never Told Me

She must have done it in the privacy of her own room. She couldn’t have done it in the bathroom because there were 5 of us (three girls, my mother and father) all sharing the same small bathroom. Time in the bathroom was a premium. I never saw her do it. But now I know she must have. Even into her 80s her face was smooth and free of unsightly whisker hairs; her upper lip was clean; no long strands coming from her nose; and her eyebrows did not touch in the center. I know she must have plucked feverishly when no one was looking.

Being a Chillette, it is important to put my best face forward. And that face must be free of hair. So naturally, I have to pluck. Constantly! I have found that the very best place to pluck is the car, in the daylight, using the rear view mirror. Things appear bigger in the rearview mirror. That wonderful natural light coming in and shining on my face in that crystal clear mirror makes finding those little hairy demons much easier, and so gratifying.

So on some bright Saturday morning, if you happen to drive by my house and see me sitting in my car crying, it not because I am fed up with my dear mate and I am going to leave him once and for all. No, it is because I am plucking my nose hairs. Plucking nose hairs makes me cry, and scream some times, although not because I am sad to see them go. Clipping with scissors just doesn’t get the job done. One thing my mother DID tell me was “beauties must suffer.”

Although looking in the mirror is a MUST when plucking eyebrows, I have perfected chin, nose and upper lip plucking while working on the computer, or watching TV, or reading. Sometimes I get bored reading all those long admiring emails or watching commercials, so scanning my face with the constant motion of nipping tweezers is a fun way to divert my boredom. I have found it actually helps me concentrate.

For convenience, place a pair at every location -- the car, your desk, your night stand, your bathroom, your dressing table, right beside the TV remote. And please do buy the best you can afford. There is nothing worse than coming up empty handed while plucking with a bad pair of tweezers that lets the hairs slip out of their grasp. Grabbing onto a hair, pulling, and feeling the painful release is quite satisfying. My favorite kind is slanted flat-edged tweezers. They have a wider area for grabbing and you can place them against your face in constant pinching motion without the fear of puncturing your pretty face. I also have a pair of medical quality “dressing” tweezers with serrated teeth that have awesome pulling power. I am quite attached to this pair.

Darlings, please do not keep this dirty little secret of plucking from your daughters or nieces. You much teach them well. They need to know we all have them and we all pluck them.

Violette

Can Hair Rollers Be the New Trend?

Ah- a photo of Tiffany Dawn was posted with her hair in rollers - beautiful as usual. Now I see that the roller trend has taken on a life of its own. Observe: both Carmen Electra and Eva Longoria have been photographed pre- hair do. Of course these two women, like TD, look beautiful at any stage of the game.

But not this "beauty".

Before you know it, women everywhere will be seen in rollers. Personally, I didn't even know that women used these ancient torture devices any more. I recall in high school, we didn't have any choice, and actually went shopping with these in our hair. The invention of the electric rollers, and then the most amazing steam rollers enabled us to set our hair in a few minutes and forego actually sleeping on rollers. No wonder so many women turned to valium - it was the only way they could actually rest.

But now I see that the trend has returned, although I can't understand it myself. Is this a movement back to the 70's along with those dreaded bell bottoms and tie dye? Oh yes- tie dye has come back as well as madras shorts. I actually have one of my tie dye shirts from the 70s, but as you would expect, it is studded with rhinestones.

So ladies,next time you are called to make an announcement on stage, feel free to wear your rollers. But like this star, I would suggest wearing your darkest glasses so as not to be recognized. What was she thinking?

Rhinestone Decor

What did we do before "google"? Why, there is such a wealth of information out there- and my favorite search involves the word rhinestone. Tonight I was inspired by some photos of decorating with rhinestones. I had seen something very similar this afternoon in a magazine, so sure this must be the start of a new trend. AND the Chillettes must take credit for the proliferation of this sparkly wonder.

The teacups filled with rhinestones as a centerpiece solves that age old problem of what to do with all those glimmering treasures when you are not wearing them. Now you know! Use them throughout your home and add a sparkle to your decor. The arrangement above would look especially nice in a guest bathroom or on a dressing table. A clever way to store your jewels, yes?

Using your jewels to fill a goblet or large serving bowl is another option. Mingling them with other sparkling jewels is acceptable if you do not have an adequate supply of rhinestones. (If this is the case, I advise you to get out this weekend and search for those perfect pieces to accent your wardrobe...and to add decor...)

Imagine what an eye catcher this would be as the centerpiece for your next dinner party. Place silky napkins with elastic rhinestone bracelets as napkin rings and your table will be complete.

Well- not completely complete- the addition of candles would make it complete. Rhinestone "studded" candles would be ideal.

Here are a couple that I found....

A Birthday Amid Tornados

Tiffany Dawn successfully celebrated her birthday despite the tornados that came through the area. TD and the Fabulous Chillettes began with a brunch at Violette's house, then out for a mega shopping afternoon. Junkman's Daughter was our first visit, then off to Howell Mill for some serious shoe shopping. Found a couple of shoe stores and found many bargains. While in the first store, we hear on the radio that a tornado is heading our way. Bambi Jjoe takes charge and locates the bathroom that we are going to hide in...Violette stand under a doorway for safety....Tiffany Dawn and I continue trying on the cutest shoes we can find. Needless to say, the threat passed and we were not harmed. Shopping continued, then more wine and dinner. Then off to Paris to dance (no, not the real Paris- the club in Decatur). We ruled the dance floor- especially since we were the only ones on it.

Tiffany Dawn is having a birthday!

The Chillettes enjoy celebrating, and what better time than a birthday? Well, Tiffany Dawn is having one (we are not sure which one) and we plan to spend a good part of the weekend celebrating her birth- for what would the Chillettes be without TD? Which reminds me- she did try to quit once. Yes- sad but true. When Tiffany Dawn moved to Gainesville, she decided she would have to quit the Chillettes. This was a big decision, since we were still performing at the Big Chill then. She came to us with a large shoe box filled with her momentos. Included were a tiara, her lovely "fuzzy" red animal prit scarf, her banner (from the 4th of July parade) and other Chillette-like items. Well, we flat out refused to have her quit! But somehow, I still have that box in my closet. It has been added to over the years, and now inlcudes quite a variety of tiaras, including that new one from Party City that lights up! I am looking forward to wearing it to osome very special occasion.

So, back to TDs birthday. Starting with happy hour on Friday, but only two Chillettes can make that. I am hoping they take some photos. Then all day Saturday- shopping, wine, more shopping, dinner, more wine, I hope some dancing and singing. I think it would be fun to go sing some karaoke. After all, folks outside of Decatur haven't heard us yet- why deprive them?

Now- what to get TD for her present, even though The Chillettes are presence enough!
It should sparkle or have feathers, or else just be terribly creative. Might have to make a trip to The Junkman's Daughter. Went there last week with Chappy, and bought some fun things. Got some tattoos, just in case I feel like looking old and hip.

Here is where I need you help. Where should we take Tiffany Dawn for her birthday to dance and sing? I would love your suggetions and hope to get some good ones.

Hope to have some fun photos to post after we celebrate.

A Trip to Gainesville

In February The Fabulous Chillettes traveled all the way to downtown Gainesville for an outing with Sister Tiffany Dawn. The visit began almost immediately with wine, cheese, tomotoes, fresh fruit- did I mention wine? We watched Violette frost the fantastic cake she baked, then were visited by Tiffany Dawn's momma. She was so happy to meet all The Chillettes and brought a photo of her family to share. She pointed out one woman who she said was a "Stepmother" and didn't she look like one. She is so cute! Momma TD went on to explain that said stepmother had to roll her own- she evidently had a sleeping sickness and had to smoke to keep awake. I like that excuse- I will have to use it the next time someone gives me a hard time about having a smoke.

We then went to Luna's- a very nice little bar in downtown Gainesville. We had a photo op with the owner- of course he was thrilled - and settled in next to the fire. There was a piano player that really set the ambiance. Of course, The Chillettes LOVE ambiance. We then proceeded to discuss the predeliction for BIG hair in Gville. And not only on the women, mind you. The men seemed to be very proud of their hair as well. Even the ones with obvious hairpieces.

We ended the first evening watching an Italian movie about a woman who left her husband for a vacation and decided life was better that way. The Chillettes do love a foreign movie- especially with women who are strong and like to have fun!

On Saturday, a party was thrown in our honor- so we dazzled them with minks, sequins, rhinestones, boas and tiaras. Of course, we had to make a quick trip to Party City for supplies. Bambi Jo felt like a new boa would enhance her already beautiful profile, and some of us longed for a light up tiara. Alas, the light up tiara did not match the boa, so it was bought and saved for another occasion.

A Chillette Rule: You should always have extra tiaras on hand for any occasion.

We also sported the rhinestone pins given to us by Violette during the holidays. Tiffany Dawn's stated FABULOUS and Moanique's shone HOT. They were quite a hit at the party.

Did I mention that the party was all women? With the exception of Reeves- he was our personal servant for the evening. He really worked hard keeping everyone's wine glasses filled. We felt very special to have a party given in our honor. Mardi Gras beads enhanced our already fabulous sparkly, furry, feathery attire, and a good time was had by all.

All of The Chillettes look forward to our next outing in March-to celebrate the birthday of our Fabulous Tiffany Dawn.

Chillettes

Once upon a time there were four wonderful, beautiful, talented, fun women in Decatur who were asked to become The Chillettes, back up singers for Mr. Big. They performed to the amazement and envy of many. They were cheered on and admired. Chillette wannabes formed. What makes these women so wonderful, you may ask. Their style, their class, their love of all things shiny and sparkly. Their love of BIG hair, flashy clothing, and their irrisistable charm. Trashy you may ask- OH NO! They are much too classy to be trashy.

Sadly. Mr. Big and the Fabulous Chillettes do not perform in public any more. They left the stage while they were at the top. The top of what? Well- the top of the world, the top of Decatur, the top of the stage. Ah yes, it is so sad. People still long for their performances, but alas, they only perform in private. They are busy traveling the world, or their part of it anyway.

Welcome to the Chillette blog where you will learn all things Chillette. Like how to wear sparkly things, lots of red, and above all, BIG hair.