Monday, May 19, 2008

Things My Mother Never Told Me

She must have done it in the privacy of her own room. She couldn’t have done it in the bathroom because there were 5 of us (three girls, my mother and father) all sharing the same small bathroom. Time in the bathroom was a premium. I never saw her do it. But now I know she must have. Even into her 80s her face was smooth and free of unsightly whisker hairs; her upper lip was clean; no long strands coming from her nose; and her eyebrows did not touch in the center. I know she must have plucked feverishly when no one was looking.

Being a Chillette, it is important to put my best face forward. And that face must be free of hair. So naturally, I have to pluck. Constantly! I have found that the very best place to pluck is the car, in the daylight, using the rear view mirror. Things appear bigger in the rearview mirror. That wonderful natural light coming in and shining on my face in that crystal clear mirror makes finding those little hairy demons much easier, and so gratifying.

So on some bright Saturday morning, if you happen to drive by my house and see me sitting in my car crying, it not because I am fed up with my dear mate and I am going to leave him once and for all. No, it is because I am plucking my nose hairs. Plucking nose hairs makes me cry, and scream some times, although not because I am sad to see them go. Clipping with scissors just doesn’t get the job done. One thing my mother DID tell me was “beauties must suffer.”

Although looking in the mirror is a MUST when plucking eyebrows, I have perfected chin, nose and upper lip plucking while working on the computer, or watching TV, or reading. Sometimes I get bored reading all those long admiring emails or watching commercials, so scanning my face with the constant motion of nipping tweezers is a fun way to divert my boredom. I have found it actually helps me concentrate.

For convenience, place a pair at every location -- the car, your desk, your night stand, your bathroom, your dressing table, right beside the TV remote. And please do buy the best you can afford. There is nothing worse than coming up empty handed while plucking with a bad pair of tweezers that lets the hairs slip out of their grasp. Grabbing onto a hair, pulling, and feeling the painful release is quite satisfying. My favorite kind is slanted flat-edged tweezers. They have a wider area for grabbing and you can place them against your face in constant pinching motion without the fear of puncturing your pretty face. I also have a pair of medical quality “dressing” tweezers with serrated teeth that have awesome pulling power. I am quite attached to this pair.

Darlings, please do not keep this dirty little secret of plucking from your daughters or nieces. You much teach them well. They need to know we all have them and we all pluck them.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Like a good daughter, I have tweezers in my car, bathroom, bedroom, and travel-kit. Also, I keep finger nail clippers in all those places as well as with the remote controls for the TV- keeps me from biting them! -Violet's adoring daughter